These events are what I define by heading this post as "Kandars version 1.0". Every such version will have 3 to 5 of the events. And then it will be contiued later. These events are niether aligned as per their magnitude of after effects or the amount of stomache paining laughter which followed. They are randomly arranged here.
A common disclosure: All cases have been recited here to the best knowledge of the author's information regarding the same. Any material mistatements should be either mailed to mihirpinto@gmail.com or written here as a comment. Any changes deemed to be fit will be done in reasonable time. The author has no responsibilty or a participating share behind any of these events otherwise than mentioned.
This post is dedicated to only Madhur Friends and hence in order to protect identities, their initials will be used.
Now I think its time to be on board this friend 'ship' and travel back to those wonderful times:
Kandars 1.0
Case 1: My First Diwali Dhamaka
A fantastic festive morning in early winter is one of the most wonderful serene pictures of Indian culture, but for a few it turns out to be quite the opposite. I think it was Diwali in the year 2006. My parents had asked me to enroll for a C Programming Course as I was wasting my vacations on the playground. I was never for this course but after what conspired on that Diwali morning I could not thank God and my parents enough.
The class was at 7am in the morning and when i left everything was quite normal and perfect like it always is. Our watchman, bahadur wished me "shubh diwali sahab" and i was off for the day. When I returned at noon. The picture was drastically surprising. There was no Madhur Premier League going on even though is was a holiday, not a soul in the compound giving sweets. I had this git feeling that something was wrong. I checked the noticeboard for a notice on 'dukhadnidhan' but there werent any. Something was truly amiss.
I went home. Wished my mom and dad (as they were not up in the morning when I left) and seeked their blessings. Thats when Mom told me. Her words "Thank God you had a class today though you term it as stupid. Because if you hadnt been there, I m pretty sure you would have been in the police station now." I could make neither head nor tail. I asked her whats wrong.
She said your friends while bursting crackers blew up a dustbin.
I was like, that ok. Some mischief. But why police re ?
Then she told me: Your friends blew up the ground floor door and those bhadekarus have filled a police complaint as your friends said they knew nothing about it.
I thought, If mom is telling me such dangerous things there is actually some problem. But the problem in my head was, WE alway tell our parents a part of the story say 25%. I was like what is with these guys. If this is 25% what the hell is 100%.
The question was solved easily. I met HShir (chairman) and asked him what actually happened. Then he told me a series of events which i really couldnt believe.
The real : Its a tradition to wake up early, wear new clothes and burst crackers in the morning. Some of my friends (read ATay, AKul, SKam, HShir and not sure about PJad) had come for some normal fun. After bursting crackers in open areas they thought about trying something new. They tried bursting crackers in plastic bottles, under some soil. Still no danger no damage. Then they thought about the dustbin of the ground floor tenants. One volcano bomb inside that plastic dabba was enough to make all khachra and particles burst like the lava. Still Fine. After all it was just a dabba. Then ATay shouted "khopcha (hole in hindi) mila, khopcha mila." It was actually a small hole in the sanmaica in the entrance door of the flat. One more Sutli bomb over there. And the hole became a little bigger and the sanmaica cracked slightly. Still majja nahi ayaa re. Then came the deadly blow. ATay put in as many as 3 sutli bombs in the crack and lit them together. It is said that HShir, Akul were apprehensive about it and even asked ATay to avoid it....And that was deadly. The door shattered broke midway and came down like the twin towers. Next everyone decided not to let out a word and reclined to their favourite sofas and beds.
Hmmm easier said than done. Some neighbours saw ATay, AKul and SKam at the crime scnee and they got involved. HShir was seen by his favourites Deshmukhs and he got invloved too. But then everyone had decided not to let out anything when the tenants Jr. Lakhpati comes. Irked by not cathcing the culprit, Jr Lakhpati approached the police. ATay was taken away for questioning. And others for 'sakha'. He repeatedly said no. But then later gave in and said that he had done it. ATay's parents asked Jr. Lakhpati to withdraw the registered case and the mamla to be sorted out outside to the court. The same was done and a new door was gifted in this diwali.
It so happened that Jr. lakhpati was a newly wed couple and it was their First Diwali together. And hence this post is named My First Diwali Dhamaka which resulted in a hole in the door way and an obvious constraint on the privacy necessary for 'celebrating' the first diwali together.
All this was recited in the evening and everyone including those involved laughed over it. HShir repeatedly cursed his fav dushmukhs for their unconditional support in bringing him down. Their flourishing relationship will be the main subject matter of one of the cases that will follow. But i could not thank God enough for the class that I enrolled in. Phew one down!
Case 2: Window Panes
The cricket ball is very notorious. It always finds the panes. Always. We might have broken countless window panes. Its pretty hard to sit back and account for each of them. But there are some strange things that we managed to do.
HSin, ATay and HShir while palying football craked the window panes of the ground floor people. And it was not just one or two. A series of window panes. A Half line of the bathroom panes and many more. The residents were increasingly surprised how we mangaed such a feat but our sardar puttar had a very interesting argument. " aunty the ball was hit that side only but its just that it hit the stone and turned its directions." This was one of his many arguments. Though play resumed ony next day and we had to abondone the game after the glass broke we laughed over the reason, the umpti and rice in glass and what not. Till today only one glass has been replaced by HShir and oll other promisies made have been easily forgotten. The other day ATay missed a record. While playing on a certain hot sunday, the bat slipped out of his hands and it landed straight on a Car windshield. After slipping out the bat might have gone atleast till the first floor and then it landed with a thud. Just a scratch not even a crack and ATay missed the record. Laughed to no end.
Window Panes though routine in any socirty have been quite distinct in out society....
Case 3: Tough Task of Facing Parents when Porn is concerned.
TSin approaches PVay with a a neatly covered book in his hand. The book is neither curricular nor etra-curricular. He asked him please keep this with you for the next 2 weeks. Quite amusing when it is neither of any importance to you nor of any interest. When asked for reasons for the same TSin refuses to say anything. He is all in al lost for words. When PVay took the book in his hand , he realised that there is something amiss with the cover. On further removing the cover, he noticed what the problem was. It was a old CD of hardcore stuff. The very thought of holding it in the hand and anyone finding out was enough to force it back in his hand. Let alone keep it at home.
All these proceedings were closely followed by AKul who had the god gifted vision of narating this story as an exchage of consignments and whose over concerned father came home the next day to give a full naration to my mother. A test at home after coming from school on this topic is far more screwing up when parents are concerned,
When some people (read Hshir, PJad) say that its dificult to explain to parents what does the short from BP stand for, facing them with an acquisition is like pissing in the pants.
A pathetic situation to be in..
(to be continued in Version 2.0)
